You are here

You know you are a usability consultant when..

For the whole lot of posts on SEO or usability, here is one on usability humor, for a change. If you aren't a usability consultant, have a chuckle at the rare spicies lifestyle, too.

  • you are trying out a new pair of shoes, it doesn't fit well, and you think "that's where [company name] loses a fair percentage of sales"
  • you also give out an exact percentage (with 0.01% accuracy) of conversion loss due to a particular shoe usability issue from the top of your head
  • you enter any shop (grocery, retail, etc.) and your first thought is a list of suggestions for improvement of the inventory layout to "increase shop usability and conversion rate"
  • you are reading a book and you can't help thinking on how the author could improve the book layout, make it easy to scan (or read)
  • you enter a site you haven't seen before and you try hard to supress the urge to send its webmaster a list of suggestions for website usability
  • you do send a comprehensive usability report to a site's webmaster on your first visit
  • you don't really do SEO, do not issue press releases, don't post on various forums or attend SESs, but still new clients keep ringing and ringing and..
  • you are choosing your clients by interrogating them on why they need a usable site, you raise your fees, and you are still overrun with clients
  • various website development companies (SEO, web design, copywriting, etc.) tell you they will be sending their clients your way, you ask them to refer the clients to some other usability consultant or company
  • you don't need to oursource SEO, web design and copywriting services, because you have already taught your client what and how to do everything
  • you spend more time educating your clients, than actually doing what you do
  • you sometimes think you should start a website usability training program, backed up by hundreds of existing testimonials from your previous clients
  • you start paying some bills (maybe even all the bills), and your spouse does no longer refer to your job as 'fiddling with web sites'
  • your spouse, instead, labels your work as 'web site voodoo magic' for making money out of thin air (this isn't so, but it seems so to the spouse)
  • your family members, your friends, your friends' friends refer you to their favourite web sites and ask for comments
  • your web site usability testing people refer to you as no less than an inquisitor
  • there is a rumour going on in your town of an enthusiast, paying well to interrogate people in front of the monitors
  • your client's web designer and marketer retire after they read your site usability report and learn the results of your usability testing session
  • everyone keeps sending you a link to a little cute "You know you are a usability expert when.." list
  • you already have a complete contact list to forward this link to
  • you chuckle as you can actually relate to (almost) every item on the list
Topics: 

Comments

That was great, Yuri :) I just stumbled on your site from your recently dugg article, and I'm a huge, huge usability nut (I perform usability testing myself and am obsessed with this) and had a good laugh at this. Nice articles too, keep up the good work.

Thanks :)

Sadly, my current projects only require initial site creation and promotion, not thorough usability testing. Oh how I'd improve those sites :)

Thanks for coming.

Add new comment